Priority One

Priority One, Cardiac Arrest.

Copy that dispatch, mark us rolling. Has CPR been started?

Negative, caller says that rigor has set in and patient is cold in a warm environment.

Have RCMP been dispatched?

Affirmative, downgrade to priority 4, scene is safe, RCMP are 10 minutes out.

Copy, we're clear.

Good Ol' Country Folk

Was on my way home a few days ago and feeling a bit poorly. There was a bug going around with sudden onset diarrhea and nausea. Actually, both were projectile from what I was told. I only ever did get the vomiting.

A few of my coworkers were already out of commission with it and I was trying to get home before it struck. About forty minutes into my drive I figure that I might as well deal with it, so pulled to the side of the road. It was a barren stretch of road, cold and blowing snow. At first, my symptoms abated with the fresh air but soon the rumblings started. I was in full uniform, with a huge EMS symbol on my parka.

Just as I start to vomit, a car pulls to a stop.

"are you OK?"

"I'm fine"    Whhaaaaaaa!     "I'm OK"     Whhaaaaaaaa!

They said something comforting and went on their way.

I just get over the worst of it and was dealing with the dry heaves when another truck pulls up.

I start my "I'm OK" routine and then some lost, forgotten meal came flying out.

I see the fellow with my peripheral vision, bending over as though trying to see me better, but then realize that he is vomiting himself.

"I don't do very well with this he says"     Whaaaaaaa      " but my wife is just up the road, I could send her back."

"No thank you, I'm OK, I'll be back on the road soon"

So to those kind folks that stopped to help out a Paramedic on the side of the road,  I would like to say "Thank you"

Whaaaaaaaa!

Heart Attacks and Boners

We received a call for a 65 year old male having chest pain.
The call itself went well, except that the patient's wife busted him for "sneaking a nip" of vodka once in a while. "He hides it in the basement."
Nitro seemed to relieve the pain and we transported without incident. We got him to the emerg and transferred him to their EKG machine. We then waited for the Doctor to arrive.
One of the things to ask a patient before administering Nitro is if they have taken any Viagra recently. This affects their blood pressure.
My patient had replied no, not Viagra, "I took Cialis, it's a weekender"
The Doc had come in and done a brief exam and was now a few feet away talking with a nurse.
I moved closer to the patient just to say that I had to get going and would see him later. I then remembered a Cialis story that a GP had told me. He had a patient come back for a visit after taking Cialis. It seems the patient had trouble sleeping on Cialis. The Doc ask if it was insomnia (a possible side effect) but the patient said that it was because of his new sleeping position. It seems that he prefers to sleep facing down but was repeatedly interrupted and forced to roll onto his back. This also made for a drafty sleep.
Not thinking it through, I shared this with my patient who was having a mild heart attack. When I finished he just was smiling, but as I turned to leave, his laughter got louder and louder. The Doc heard the commotion and was looking back and forth between the EKG and the patient. He then realized that I must be the cause of this sudden outbreak, so he shot me a stern look.
The patient by this time was in fits of laughter and holding his belly.
One of the electrical leads had come off so the EKG machine was in alarm.
In short, the room was not in the tranquil state that is best for a cardiac patient.
I meekly started to slink out the door.
What a boner!

A Perfect Day

I am writing this on my birthday. My present to myself is to start writing again. I enjoyed the feedback from the blog, and really just had fun sharing the stories that rattle around in my brain.

    I started working for a new service but still have two years worth of material to get down on 'paper' before I get to this job. Maybe I'll just intertwine the two, this will help protect the privacy of patients and coworkers even more.

 

Thank youse

    A couple of weeks ago, we had brought a patient in to the hospital. We cleaned the ambulance and finished up the paper work and just as I was leaving, a family member of the patient mouthed thank you to me. Caught off guard, I said something like, "anytime....." Dumbbell!

    Then yesterday, a little white haired elder drove up to the curb, rolled down her window and said "we really appreciate you guys". This time I was ready and said "thank you" No other words came to mind.

Thank you's are few and far between in this job, so if you thank a paramedic and they say something stupid, like I did, please know that we really appreciate it, and that it means the world to us.

I made sure that I passed on the comments to all my coworkers, I just left out my replies.

Churchill, Manitoba

These are a couple of pics that I took while I was working in Churchill.

Wildlife

Call comes in for a roll over 3 patients, local ambulance responding.

This meant that we were responding just to back them up and help transport.

They were an hour away, This is in the middle of the night.

I am still running on the effect of the deliver on the side of the highway earlier in the morning.

We blast north up the gravel road, lights and siren watching for the eyes of wildlife in the ditches.

We arrive on scene and do another triage and load up the most seriously hurt patient in our truck.

And away we go, now south bound, lights and sirens for the hour drive to the closest hospital.

Our patient was a young fellow who had had a few beer so thought it best not to drive home.

The driver that he picked to drive his truck home, lost control, rolled and landed upright in five feet of water.

One passenger was ejected.

This was the second time this year that someone else had written off his vehicle.

I was in the back with him for the trip, keeping him awake and watching vitals.

About 15 minutes north of the hospital, I hear the driver scream " AAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh" so I braced myself and the patient.

BANG!

 We came to a quick stop from 100kmh (60mph), contact was at 90 kmh (50)

"A moose" the driver calls out.

I check on the patient and he is fine, although now a little sensitive to other people's driving.

My partner is white, I mean that pale sweaty white of a cardiac patient.

The ambulance is in bad shape and not going anywhere by itself.

We call our second truck to come and get us.

Another medic has jumped in the back with the patient and I am out stretching my legs before we transfer.

One of the medics has a tag (license for a moose) so is determined to come and track down the moose.

We are standing out near the ditch, the hunter has his back to where the moose was, I am facing him.

I scream out "Moose" drop my flashlight for added effect and pretend to run.

Big bad hunter, spins and runs right into the side if the ambulance, clawing at it looking for the door.

I thought that I was going to pee myself I was laughing so hard.

Big bad hunter knows allot of curse words.

We get back to town, drop off the patient and fill out the paper work. Lots of paper work.

Now it is about five or six in the morning and pitch black.

I am walking behind the hospital, not paying particular attention to anything.

I look up and there is a bear about twenty feet from me.

I gently reach into my cargo pockets, pull out some dog treats, and toss them off the path.

I am too tired to walk all the way around the hospital so I just quietly walk by the bear, who is now busy searching for his treats.

Time for bed.

There Was A Pregnant Lady

    The patient had been discharged from a Hospital 1.5 hours south of us the day before, 4 cm dilated.

The patient lives 1 hour north of us.

That puts her 2.5 hours drive from the specialty hospital that she was to go to once labour had returned, not including the hour wait for the ambulance to come and get her.

The night shift truck was called out at around 0500hrs to go get her, labour had started again.

They brought her to our hospital and we were called out to relay her  back to the big city hospital from where she had just come the previous day.

She was considered a high risk pregnancy so the next closest hospital wouldn't take her.

About 20 minutes down the road, we had to pull over.

The waters had released and there was meconium staining (the baby was under stress and had defecated in the womb).

They were right, she was high risk.

The little girl just popped out, not breathing, it was a very long hour before the baby cried.

 In reality it was probably more like 3-5 seconds.

I would love to describe the whole delivery but adrenaline and shock make it seem as though it was just a dream.

At some points I was outside of my body watching. Totally intense.

Mom and baby were stable and when we radioed in we were redirected to the closer hospital since she was now not a high risk delivery.

Some how, I feel that we were used.

But Now I get my stork pin.

Am I pregnant?

 

Called for a 17yr old, 37 week gestation

Patient will be walking outside waiting for EMS

 

Expectant mothers waiting outside are never a good sign.

We arrive on site, and as advertised, is the expectant mom pacing back and forth.

Do you feel the need to push?

I don't know

Has your water broke?

I don't know

Are you pregnant? (I couldn't help it)

Then she looks at me like I'm the stupidest person on earth.

Do you know why we were called here?

No answer.

Finally, the mom's mom answers some of the questions.

Will I get a stork pin?......I don't know

 

Kids shouldn't be having kids.

Hunting Tally

 

3 windows

1 door

1 Ford truck

1 hydro pole

Various road signs

Too many trees to count

0 people

0 Moose

0 Ducks

Situation Normal

Called for a 40 year old having a seizure.
Arrive to find a party going on in full swing, the middle of the afternoon.
Of course, everyone is very helpful.
We manage to clear some room around the patient and begin to access him.
He is known to EMS as one who is very combative when he starts to come around.
We put in a call to the Band Constables but they won't come.
He is laying in a chair with a glazed look in his eyes.
Now is the time to grab a quick set of vitals.
Too late, he all of a sudden gets a horrified look in his eyes and starts swinging.
He has a forearm cast which makes quite a formidable weapon.
We start dancing around the living room and he then decides that we are going outside.
He is about my size but still too intoxicated to really take me on.
We go out to the porch and he decides that he is going to escape the evil that has befallen him.
So off we go across the yard.
As he reaches the boundary, I grab him and steer him back across the yard.
My goal was to play him out until I could gain his trust.
There is a heavily trafficked road near by and I am worried that he will run out to it to get away.
After a few laps, he has had enough of my interference so decides to stand and fight.
I end up sitting on him, out in the yard, him swinging his one good arm and the cast at me.
I look up just in time to see a RCMP truck going by.
The officers just wave at me and keep going.
Like this happens every day.
Its normal for a Paramedic to be sitting on a patient out in the yard.
My partner had placed a call into the RCMP for help about ten minutes prior so they do finally get the call and respond.
By this time the patient is sitting calmly in the back of the ambulance letting us do a full assessment.
The officers are very cordial and tell us to call them anytime that we may need them, no problem.
OK, thanks guys, we're under control, but thanks for coming.

Northern Triage

Hypothetically of course.

 

On a call with a male after a two week drinking binge.

He's not feeling very good.

Call comes in, Adult bit by a dog, bleeding badly.

Stabilize the boozer and respond to dog bite.

Yep, in fact it is bleeding quite badly, many wounds.

Call comes in, female screaming and crying on phone, can only make out the name.

Stop bleeding of dog bite, have bystander apply pressure and respond to new screaming caller.

Get there, domestic battle in progress, stop the fight, load victim,

pick up dog bite on the way to the clinic 

and then phone the boozer.

Boozer has passed out in his usual chair, family just wants to go to bed but will keep an eye on him.

Radio rings, seizure, come quick.

And so it goes.

 

Hypothetically of course.

I have a headache, I think

Caller "she doesn't feel well, you better come" click
Are you in pain?
No
What is wrong?
I don't feel right, my head is going to explode.
Do you have a headache?
No
Is there pressure in your head?
No
Tell me how you feel.
I feel funny all over. I went to the clinic after school but didn't feel well enough to wait to be seen.
Would you like us to take you in now?
No, the ambulance is too showy, my sister will drive me.
OK, give this list of your vitals to the nurse, we'll call ahead and talk to them.

Needless to say, we told the clinic exactly what we heard, saw and found.
I wonder if she'll feel well enough to wait and be seen tonight?

A teacher should know better than to waste the government's money.

It always happens when.....

Call to 40+ year old writhing with upper abdo pain.

Have you fallen?

No

Did you get hit?

No

When did the pain start?

After supper.

What did you eat?

Duck soup, it always hurts after duck soup.

 

Ok everybody, say it with me,

"Stop eating Duck Soup!"

Really, Really, Green Charlie Three

The Basics:

Green is stable, Orange not so stable, Red unresponsive.

Charlie is conscious, Uniform is unconscious.

Three is trauma, Five is medical

So Really, Really, Stable ,conscious, trauma

 

Call received from the nursing station to go to the school.

12 year old girl went to open the door with her foot and her nail bent back.

When we get there, she is totally embarrassed by all the attention and really shy.

Someone had already put a band aid on the injury, so what to do?

I know, throw her on the stretcher, hang a 1 litre bag of saline, run the drip set under the blanket, bandage her head in gauze, put the O2 sensor, bp cuff, accutest.... in plain sight, blanket her so that only her eyes are showing and leave lights a flashing.

Once we were under way I peeled back the blanket and was met by a huge grin.

 

Ok, stage two, to pay back nurse that called us, we fly into the emerg parking lot but are met by a new nurse and nearly gave her a cardiac. OOps! Just kidding, where is so and so?

 

Ok, stage three, lets scare the folks. (patient's idea not mine) Problem was, grandma knew me from a past prank and busted us. She tried not to but was grinning so wide that I thought her head would hinge back and fall off.

 

So, seven calls since 0830hrs, now for some food and maybe even a nap.

 

No Dogs Allowed

I got it in writing.

No more encouraging dogs around the base.

Apparently, one of the pack growled at the big boss.

What was he doing that would cause them to growl you ask?

Anyway, as soon as I got here I addressed the situation.

This time, I growled " I'm to let the dogs starve while showing compassion for my patients?"

 

Anyway, Chico came to say Hi last night just hours after my arrival.

I made him a bed in the ambulance bay because its so cold and rainy. The main door is stuck open.

And I asked for a raise.

 

Back to work

Well, holidays are over, just got back up here yesterday afternoon.

One day late. I broke down half way, the alternator quit.

A good Samaritan stopped and helped charge my battery so that I could limp into the next town.

Thanks Evan

Luckily, could still get the parts shipped up by bus overnight.

The first motel that I went to was closed for the holiday weekend, go figure.

The next, after some cajoling had a room ($125/night) but no water.

The restaurant was also closed for the holiday weekend.

There was a restaurant run by a Korean family that was open.

They had Chinese Specials, 1,2,5,6.

An American customer came in and was about to order.

Where is three and four? (Southern accent)

No three and four. (Asian accent)

Why don't you name five and six, three and four? (Southern accent)

No three and four.(Asian accent)

I understand, but you could just change the numbers.(Southern accent)

No numba three and four.(Asian accent)

He just wasn't getting it.

Being a frugal business woman, it was more practical to just use the numbers that she had.

 

Its cold and rainy, a really beautiful fall day.

 

New Plan

I am pulling out about mid morning and off to the bush.

May not be posting for a bit.

No cell phones, no internet, no dispatch, no patients.

I should be back posting in a week or so.

 

Too hard to open

Called to a three year old that was found at the kitchen table that was covered in 100+ pills. The pills were in an acetaminophen bottle but were an antispasmodic med prescription.
What is the name of your pills?
I don't remember exactly.
Where did you get the prescription?
Winnipeg.
How many did she take?
I don't know.
How many were in the bottle?
I don't know

The total bill for us, the clinic and the medivac plane must have exceeded $5000. Billed to the government.
All for what was explained to me as a more convenient container.
"The bottle that my pills came in was too hard to open"

Just in case

We are having internet problems so I am having a difficult time posting.

Tomorrow I leave for a camping trip in Northern Ontario so won't be posting for a bit.

Should be back by late August.