Friday, August 15, 2008

Who's the patient

Seizure call, unspecified.
Enter house to find three adults, one female standing in the kitchen holding an infant, one male sitting at the table whose eyes are wandering independently of each other and another male sitting comatose on the couch.
My astute powers of medical observation lead me to the altered LOC (level of consciousness) possibly postictal male on the couch. As I walked pass the female, something causes me to focus on her and I am just in time to grab the infant by the jumpsuit and slowly settle the adult female to the ground who is now vibrating like a bad break dancer.
I pass the baby to my partner and have him call for backup to take the baby. I place the seizing female in recovery and try to get some information from the disco eyeballer. The only information that he is currently willing to pass on is something about a birthday (birfday) but whose or when I can't make out.
The female comes out of the seizure and is dazed and quiet for a moment. Then with the agility of a gymnast, she is on her feet and swinging like Cassius Clay. She lands one or two punches before I am able to redirect the blows. I feel like I'm in a bad Jackie Chan movie.
Baby appears to be OK so we turn her over to Family Services who have finally arrived, and have them take baby to the Clinic.
Meanwhile the seizures return and the outcome keeps repeating itself. She is far too combative to try and start any medical attention, so new plan. I get a blanket and lay it on the floor. The next seizure we grab her, plunk her on the blanket and carry her down the stairs and strap her into the stretcher outside. She starts to come around in the ambulance and recognizes where she is. She is now transformed into a very pleasant lady who entertains me with Hank William's tunes, sung in a mixture of English and Cree. Angelic voice, I'm very impressed. The inside of the ambulance has a Kryptonic effect.
This scene repeats itself over and over during the following months. The trick is to get her into the ambulance to re-awake the lovely lady and not the combative pugilist. She gets wise to the blanket trick so we keep it out of sight until she drops and then bring it out.
I never see an infant there again.

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