Don't push, breath

After a busy night and too little sleep...

Call received........female 40ish, abdominal pain, so bad that she can't get up.

We arrive on scene to find her moaning on the living room couch. It seems that she has some leg pain and has been taking Tylenol 3. This then lead to severe constipation, or as she put it " my poop is stuck, here look!"

We loaded her in the ambulance and she ask for diaper pads. Not a good sign. She apparently felt that I wasn't understanding her plight because in one swift motion, she repeated " my poop is stuck, here look!", dropped her drawers, spun around on the stretcher so that I could get a clear view of her situation.

Now, I really didn't need to see the plug, and wasn't really comfortable being in the direct line of fire. But she insisted that I confirm her medical opinion of the situation.

For those of you that read this, if you ever need a paramedic for a similar situation, keep in mind that the medic will take your diagnosis as gospel, and there is no need to show them the exact point of exit that you are waiting on. To make matters worse, she was giving in to her need to push and straining as though giving birth. I was trying to get her to breath and not push but to no avail.

My pleas to my partner to hurry but to try to avoid the bumps fell on deaf ears, maybe because he was laughing too hard.

We were able to make it to clinic without incident. I gave report to the RN and explained that the patient would show her exactly where to expect the awaited result.