What not to ask a crowd

Call to a house party, unspecified problem.

I walk in the door to a house full of very happy (read drunk) people, maybe twenty or so.

I scan the crowd, looking for a hint of distress.

Then in my most professional voice I say "who needs medical attention?"

Every hand in the place goes up, illnesses ranging from rashes, dry mouth, itchy groin, numbness, syncope et al come to light. A triage nightmare.

Let me rephrase, who called the ambulance?

Johnny did, he wasn't breathing.

How did he place the call?

He's feeling better.

Were is Johnny?

He went to go get beer, he should be right back. Wanna drink?

No thankyou. Clinic is open in the morning for the rest of you. Have a good night.