My Blueberry

When I receive a message on my phone/ email or Blackberry like device, I started feeling more and more obligated to respond. Even worse, I feel obligated to respond within a respectful time line.
But now for Christmas, I gave myself a few things from the pets and invented friends, but what has gone the furthest is that I use my "communicator" (Blackberry) at my discretion. I am reducing my commitment to replying to this machine, which has enslaved me for near a year.
. It is meant for my convenience, not the convenience of others. .
If I want to talk to a friend, or they want to talk to me, we drive to the other's yard. No texting. And I would like to embrace the benefits of that, more than I have been. My phone is shut off right now.
Merry Christmas.

Have you been Naughty?

Definitions

The Edge of Reality should be more clearly defined.
An electric fence would do.

Stress Relief

"Woke up this morning and my liver was laying beside me in the fetal position"

Smoking

Seven or so months in now and I would kill for a smoke. 10, 9, 8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1. there that's better. Now its just a craving and I wouldn't actually break a commandment for one. Man, what a day.

The Wrong Valentine's gift

Gentlemen, post this on your fridge.

OK, so you have probably figured out by now that this is Valentine's Day.

If not, well.....at least you did nothing.

This fellow picked the wrong surprise.

 

 

It seems that he borrowed his girlfriend's van without telling her.

Then went and had a "few" drinks without telling her.

(we almost had to detox after his breath)

He then decides to drive home and rolls the van into the ditch.

Total write off.

He had no real injuries, but was so drunk that he couldn't stay awake on the ride to the hospital.

He was very concerned about the van because his girlfriend needed it for work.

And what does she do for a living you may ask?

Flower Deliveries!

Busiest day of the year, she woke up to find, no boyfriend and no van.

I wonder what his favorite flower is?

 

Priority One

Priority One, Cardiac Arrest.

Copy that dispatch, mark us rolling. Has CPR been started?

Negative, caller says that rigor has set in and patient is cold in a warm environment.

Have RCMP been dispatched?

Affirmative, downgrade to priority 4, scene is safe, RCMP are 10 minutes out.

Copy, we're clear.

Good Ol' Country Folk

Was on my way home a few days ago and feeling a bit poorly. There was a bug going around with sudden onset diarrhea and nausea. Actually, both were projectile from what I was told. I only ever did get the vomiting.

A few of my coworkers were already out of commission with it and I was trying to get home before it struck. About forty minutes into my drive I figure that I might as well deal with it, so pulled to the side of the road. It was a barren stretch of road, cold and blowing snow. At first, my symptoms abated with the fresh air but soon the rumblings started. I was in full uniform, with a huge EMS symbol on my parka.

Just as I start to vomit, a car pulls to a stop.

"are you OK?"

"I'm fine"    Whhaaaaaaa!     "I'm OK"     Whhaaaaaaaa!

They said something comforting and went on their way.

I just get over the worst of it and was dealing with the dry heaves when another truck pulls up.

I start my "I'm OK" routine and then some lost, forgotten meal came flying out.

I see the fellow with my peripheral vision, bending over as though trying to see me better, but then realize that he is vomiting himself.

"I don't do very well with this he says"     Whaaaaaaa      " but my wife is just up the road, I could send her back."

"No thank you, I'm OK, I'll be back on the road soon"

So to those kind folks that stopped to help out a Paramedic on the side of the road,  I would like to say "Thank you"

Whaaaaaaaa!

Heart Attacks and Boners

We received a call for a 65 year old male having chest pain.
The call itself went well, except that the patient's wife busted him for "sneaking a nip" of vodka once in a while. "He hides it in the basement."
Nitro seemed to relieve the pain and we transported without incident. We got him to the emerg and transferred him to their EKG machine. We then waited for the Doctor to arrive.
One of the things to ask a patient before administering Nitro is if they have taken any Viagra recently. This affects their blood pressure.
My patient had replied no, not Viagra, "I took Cialis, it's a weekender"
The Doc had come in and done a brief exam and was now a few feet away talking with a nurse.
I moved closer to the patient just to say that I had to get going and would see him later. I then remembered a Cialis story that a GP had told me. He had a patient come back for a visit after taking Cialis. It seems the patient had trouble sleeping on Cialis. The Doc ask if it was insomnia (a possible side effect) but the patient said that it was because of his new sleeping position. It seems that he prefers to sleep facing down but was repeatedly interrupted and forced to roll onto his back. This also made for a drafty sleep.
Not thinking it through, I shared this with my patient who was having a mild heart attack. When I finished he just was smiling, but as I turned to leave, his laughter got louder and louder. The Doc heard the commotion and was looking back and forth between the EKG and the patient. He then realized that I must be the cause of this sudden outbreak, so he shot me a stern look.
The patient by this time was in fits of laughter and holding his belly.
One of the electrical leads had come off so the EKG machine was in alarm.
In short, the room was not in the tranquil state that is best for a cardiac patient.
I meekly started to slink out the door.
What a boner!

A Perfect Day

I am writing this on my birthday. My present to myself is to start writing again. I enjoyed the feedback from the blog, and really just had fun sharing the stories that rattle around in my brain.

    I started working for a new service but still have two years worth of material to get down on 'paper' before I get to this job. Maybe I'll just intertwine the two, this will help protect the privacy of patients and coworkers even more.