Black Friday

It's cold outside. The store was hot. So I removed up to 70% off. Now I'm being detained by security in my underware. What?

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/289/886/031/tell-the-manitoba-government-to-reinstate-the-licensing-requirement-for-dog-breeding/

Winter is here

OK, let me see if I have this right. No longjohns, and you freeze to death on scene at a collision, put them on and you die of heat with a 3 hour offload time at Emerg. Sound about right Medics?

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Good Advice

The very second that you hear"Good Idea !"
Stop talking.

My Blueberry

When I receive a message on my phone/ email or Blackberry like device, I started feeling more and more obligated to respond. Even worse, I feel obligated to respond within a respectful time line.
But now for Christmas, I gave myself a few things from the pets and invented friends, but what has gone the furthest is that I use my "communicator" (Blackberry) at my discretion. I am reducing my commitment to replying to this machine, which has enslaved me for near a year.
. It is meant for my convenience, not the convenience of others. .
If I want to talk to a friend, or they want to talk to me, we drive to the other's yard. No texting. And I would like to embrace the benefits of that, more than I have been. My phone is shut off right now.
Merry Christmas.

Have you been Naughty?

Definitions

The Edge of Reality should be more clearly defined.
An electric fence would do.

Stress Relief

"Woke up this morning and my liver was laying beside me in the fetal position"

Smoking

Seven or so months in now and I would kill for a smoke. 10, 9, 8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1. there that's better. Now its just a craving and I wouldn't actually break a commandment for one. Man, what a day.

The Wrong Valentine's gift

Gentlemen, post this on your fridge.

OK, so you have probably figured out by now that this is Valentine's Day.

If not, well.....at least you did nothing.

This fellow picked the wrong surprise.

 

 

It seems that he borrowed his girlfriend's van without telling her.

Then went and had a "few" drinks without telling her.

(we almost had to detox after his breath)

He then decides to drive home and rolls the van into the ditch.

Total write off.

He had no real injuries, but was so drunk that he couldn't stay awake on the ride to the hospital.

He was very concerned about the van because his girlfriend needed it for work.

And what does she do for a living you may ask?

Flower Deliveries!

Busiest day of the year, she woke up to find, no boyfriend and no van.

I wonder what his favorite flower is?

 

Priority One

Priority One, Cardiac Arrest.

Copy that dispatch, mark us rolling. Has CPR been started?

Negative, caller says that rigor has set in and patient is cold in a warm environment.

Have RCMP been dispatched?

Affirmative, downgrade to priority 4, scene is safe, RCMP are 10 minutes out.

Copy, we're clear.

Good Ol' Country Folk

Was on my way home a few days ago and feeling a bit poorly. There was a bug going around with sudden onset diarrhea and nausea. Actually, both were projectile from what I was told. I only ever did get the vomiting.

A few of my coworkers were already out of commission with it and I was trying to get home before it struck. About forty minutes into my drive I figure that I might as well deal with it, so pulled to the side of the road. It was a barren stretch of road, cold and blowing snow. At first, my symptoms abated with the fresh air but soon the rumblings started. I was in full uniform, with a huge EMS symbol on my parka.

Just as I start to vomit, a car pulls to a stop.

"are you OK?"

"I'm fine"    Whhaaaaaaa!     "I'm OK"     Whhaaaaaaaa!

They said something comforting and went on their way.

I just get over the worst of it and was dealing with the dry heaves when another truck pulls up.

I start my "I'm OK" routine and then some lost, forgotten meal came flying out.

I see the fellow with my peripheral vision, bending over as though trying to see me better, but then realize that he is vomiting himself.

"I don't do very well with this he says"     Whaaaaaaa      " but my wife is just up the road, I could send her back."

"No thank you, I'm OK, I'll be back on the road soon"

So to those kind folks that stopped to help out a Paramedic on the side of the road,  I would like to say "Thank you"

Whaaaaaaaa!

Heart Attacks and Boners

We received a call for a 65 year old male having chest pain.
The call itself went well, except that the patient's wife busted him for "sneaking a nip" of vodka once in a while. "He hides it in the basement."
Nitro seemed to relieve the pain and we transported without incident. We got him to the emerg and transferred him to their EKG machine. We then waited for the Doctor to arrive.
One of the things to ask a patient before administering Nitro is if they have taken any Viagra recently. This affects their blood pressure.
My patient had replied no, not Viagra, "I took Cialis, it's a weekender"
The Doc had come in and done a brief exam and was now a few feet away talking with a nurse.
I moved closer to the patient just to say that I had to get going and would see him later. I then remembered a Cialis story that a GP had told me. He had a patient come back for a visit after taking Cialis. It seems the patient had trouble sleeping on Cialis. The Doc ask if it was insomnia (a possible side effect) but the patient said that it was because of his new sleeping position. It seems that he prefers to sleep facing down but was repeatedly interrupted and forced to roll onto his back. This also made for a drafty sleep.
Not thinking it through, I shared this with my patient who was having a mild heart attack. When I finished he just was smiling, but as I turned to leave, his laughter got louder and louder. The Doc heard the commotion and was looking back and forth between the EKG and the patient. He then realized that I must be the cause of this sudden outbreak, so he shot me a stern look.
The patient by this time was in fits of laughter and holding his belly.
One of the electrical leads had come off so the EKG machine was in alarm.
In short, the room was not in the tranquil state that is best for a cardiac patient.
I meekly started to slink out the door.
What a boner!

A Perfect Day

I am writing this on my birthday. My present to myself is to start writing again. I enjoyed the feedback from the blog, and really just had fun sharing the stories that rattle around in my brain.

    I started working for a new service but still have two years worth of material to get down on 'paper' before I get to this job. Maybe I'll just intertwine the two, this will help protect the privacy of patients and coworkers even more.

 

Thank youse

    A couple of weeks ago, we had brought a patient in to the hospital. We cleaned the ambulance and finished up the paper work and just as I was leaving, a family member of the patient mouthed thank you to me. Caught off guard, I said something like, "anytime....." Dumbbell!

    Then yesterday, a little white haired elder drove up to the curb, rolled down her window and said "we really appreciate you guys". This time I was ready and said "thank you" No other words came to mind.

Thank you's are few and far between in this job, so if you thank a paramedic and they say something stupid, like I did, please know that we really appreciate it, and that it means the world to us.

I made sure that I passed on the comments to all my coworkers, I just left out my replies.

Churchill, Manitoba

These are a couple of pics that I took while I was working in Churchill.

Wildlife

Call comes in for a roll over 3 patients, local ambulance responding.

This meant that we were responding just to back them up and help transport.

They were an hour away, This is in the middle of the night.

I am still running on the effect of the deliver on the side of the highway earlier in the morning.

We blast north up the gravel road, lights and siren watching for the eyes of wildlife in the ditches.

We arrive on scene and do another triage and load up the most seriously hurt patient in our truck.

And away we go, now south bound, lights and sirens for the hour drive to the closest hospital.

Our patient was a young fellow who had had a few beer so thought it best not to drive home.

The driver that he picked to drive his truck home, lost control, rolled and landed upright in five feet of water.

One passenger was ejected.

This was the second time this year that someone else had written off his vehicle.

I was in the back with him for the trip, keeping him awake and watching vitals.

About 15 minutes north of the hospital, I hear the driver scream " AAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh" so I braced myself and the patient.

BANG!

 We came to a quick stop from 100kmh (60mph), contact was at 90 kmh (50)

"A moose" the driver calls out.

I check on the patient and he is fine, although now a little sensitive to other people's driving.

My partner is white, I mean that pale sweaty white of a cardiac patient.

The ambulance is in bad shape and not going anywhere by itself.

We call our second truck to come and get us.

Another medic has jumped in the back with the patient and I am out stretching my legs before we transfer.

One of the medics has a tag (license for a moose) so is determined to come and track down the moose.

We are standing out near the ditch, the hunter has his back to where the moose was, I am facing him.

I scream out "Moose" drop my flashlight for added effect and pretend to run.

Big bad hunter, spins and runs right into the side if the ambulance, clawing at it looking for the door.

I thought that I was going to pee myself I was laughing so hard.

Big bad hunter knows allot of curse words.

We get back to town, drop off the patient and fill out the paper work. Lots of paper work.

Now it is about five or six in the morning and pitch black.

I am walking behind the hospital, not paying particular attention to anything.

I look up and there is a bear about twenty feet from me.

I gently reach into my cargo pockets, pull out some dog treats, and toss them off the path.

I am too tired to walk all the way around the hospital so I just quietly walk by the bear, who is now busy searching for his treats.

Time for bed.

There Was A Pregnant Lady

    The patient had been discharged from a Hospital 1.5 hours south of us the day before, 4 cm dilated.

The patient lives 1 hour north of us.

That puts her 2.5 hours drive from the specialty hospital that she was to go to once labour had returned, not including the hour wait for the ambulance to come and get her.

The night shift truck was called out at around 0500hrs to go get her, labour had started again.

They brought her to our hospital and we were called out to relay her  back to the big city hospital from where she had just come the previous day.

She was considered a high risk pregnancy so the next closest hospital wouldn't take her.

About 20 minutes down the road, we had to pull over.

The waters had released and there was meconium staining (the baby was under stress and had defecated in the womb).

They were right, she was high risk.

The little girl just popped out, not breathing, it was a very long hour before the baby cried.

 In reality it was probably more like 3-5 seconds.

I would love to describe the whole delivery but adrenaline and shock make it seem as though it was just a dream.

At some points I was outside of my body watching. Totally intense.

Mom and baby were stable and when we radioed in we were redirected to the closer hospital since she was now not a high risk delivery.

Some how, I feel that we were used.

But Now I get my stork pin.